the prolonged love letter

Dear lover,

it would have been nice if you hadn't left me naked in your bed with directions to find you later. Because it's morning and you shouldn't work - because it isn't worth it and I should know, because life is worth living, not working.

I did like it when you spend your hard earned cash to take me to concerts and you'd get me all liquored up before hand & afterwards too.

I would have rathered that you'd written me a nice letter though,

telling me why you liked me so.

All we ever wanted was everything.

The longest we stayed in bed together was four days we smoked tea & drank cigarettes.

We fucked & felt wildly confused - emotions were numbed and brains sundered in alcohol,

the things we required (or what we wanted) weren't appropriate

and would destroy the 'life' we had created -

though something needs to happen,

this ocean is not wild enough.

"i held her in my strong arms" he said to a friend

"he held me close 'til i felt so much BETTER" she to her journal.

"but it wasn't right but it was almost right" they both blurted to the unwild waves.

nobody dies in this part of the story but between plane crashes and eskimo kisses

- your face, if i begin. bears comparison the concrete block placed at end of the street to stop stolen cars.

that was the day neither of us died - one of us should have.

Every soul sinks or rises to its own level.

But we are here to give, and without even trying. we had invented a new history for this odd place and its opaque chill...

and i want to leave this house in the middle of the night blind and drunk for the heart of another person.

He wakes knowing that she wakes thinking "WHAT DO I DO WITH MY LIFE"

while he stumbled confused weighed down by nausea.

He knows that her body will never engulf like a blanket curled up naked against his body -

he ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to harvest his thoughts.

They'd been in love in 4 past lives but they had never crashed together like now.

Making plans to steal cars kept the passion spurting forth -

BONNIE AND MUTHAFUCKING CLYDE!

The recklessness of their minds was, unfortunately, never acted apoun.

And with the loss of their internet connection, they were crippled bitches now...

but they turned to the stars, the illusion of permanence.

cause gods come and gods go;

mortals flicker and fade;

worlds don't last and stars and galaxies are transient,

fleeting things that twinkle like fireflys and vanish into cold dust.

But I guess, what we feel (or feelish) do you think it would last long enough to fuck up?

please, i want you to laugh and i think if that is your real laugh,

go to sleep, i want to steal it.

don't go. please love me...

i need you to love me so i have someone to dream about.