His favourite love story was that of Brangelina.
I mean who couldn't love that story?
Such a cataclysmic love.
Not many people know this,
but most modern pop songs are directly based
on the Brangelina narrative -
I like Brangelina, they are the perfect
German ideal family - lot's of children
though some of them are black,
some people think this is 'dirty'
Igor knew that it wasn't universal.
Igor did not like anything remotely
'dirty', he suffered from O.C.D.
He organized his cookbooks, not
in alphabetical order, but by colour.
He organized his dildos by size -
the largest of the 106 he owned being
12 meters, the smallest of the 106
he owned being 11.5 meters.
He did suffer from being a massive
gayist. A lot of people held this against
Igor... People like to tease him about the
order of his dildos and cookbooks.
Sometimes, he thought that this favourite
pair of tight pink alligator trousers
attracted most this ridicule.
But it also could have been because
his hands were always so sweaty
or perhaps that he had condoms covered
in aztec blood hidden in his computer.
Atleast he didn't have any cookbooks on
how to stir-fry dildos
'i'm too cool for this shit' he thought
& moved to melbourne like everyone else.
His ex-lovers all lived in melbourne, he wanted to fight
them all whilst standing on a table...
this made him able to know the difference
between fucking up and drinking coffee
alone which take threes thousand hours over four years -
in 4 years he had eight lovers.
That was plenty of full moons for each of them
an to wear each other's favourite t-shirt -
but they (his lovers) always parked in the
towaway zone of his confidence,
Igor loved losing lovers
because he always had faith that the
next one would love him more.
And being loved is better than being warm when it is freezing.
and if he couldn't be loved and no-one would love him,
he wanted to be the sky - and not the clouds moving fast
moving him.
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